I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
