Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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