in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Randomize
