i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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