mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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