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I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Panties = found
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
