He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
