I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
