Nicole vs. Life
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
