32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
