Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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