Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you would pick up someone in the library
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
