My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize