Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
