I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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