Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
