i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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