So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize