Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
