her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
