okay pat passed out under dana's car
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
