they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
