It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
