you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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