I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
