i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
