you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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