it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
