Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
