I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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