he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
