are you still at the devil's house?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
