Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
