This girl is more easily done than said...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need to align my fucking chakras
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
