i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize