it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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