Dual....:-)
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
