actually, I'm a sock model
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
