Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
