I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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