I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
