Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize