My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
