so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
