I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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