my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
