I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Randomize
