you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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