she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
