I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
