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My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
