plz talk dirty to me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
