"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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