would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
