Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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