Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
