fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
