And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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