He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
