dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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