Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize